ersatzach | (no subject)

After sending Chris to see his dad I stopped over at Pat's. We chatted a bit, and I'm not doing a very good job of hiding that something is off. I told him a little but not much. Pat was Pat. Kind, understanding, offering to be there. I said I'll talk to him more soon. Not sure if I can but... I've got to try... After getting my pets I stopped for some supplies. Chris will probably do a bigger food shopping later, he's kind of taken over in that department since he cooks and I don't that much. But I got some essentials. Eggs, a rotisserie chicken, some of that soup. Good cheese, crusty bread, tomatoes, etc. I get home and Chris isn't here.

I get the pets settled and fed and sit down the coffee I picked up at intelligentsia. I got chris one too, but it'll go cold I guess if he doesn't get here soon. I suddenly realize that in the last week we've hardly been apart for more than a few minutes... and to be truly alone right now feels-- unsettling. I notice my hand is trembling slightly as I hold the cup. I resis the urge to text him to see where he is. I can't rush him home. He needs to talk to his dad. "Noah!" I call and my dog comes over and settled on my lap. "That's a good boy..."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yes," I say. "Zach, he would defend you just as soon as he would me. He looks at you like you're one of his kids. And let me tell you...he told me today that what we have is real and good. He knows that we are both capable of taking care of each other."

I sniffle. "I'm glad he thinks that..." I say and exhale. "Do you feel like maybe laying down before dinner? So tired..."

I nod. "Yeah...I could use a nap," I admit softly. "Here? Or do you want to go to bed?"

"Not here. In our bed, under the blankets where it's warm and dark and safe..." I rasp/