ersatzach | (no subject)

After sending Chris to see his dad I stopped over at Pat's. We chatted a bit, and I'm not doing a very good job of hiding that something is off. I told him a little but not much. Pat was Pat. Kind, understanding, offering to be there. I said I'll talk to him more soon. Not sure if I can but... I've got to try... After getting my pets I stopped for some supplies. Chris will probably do a bigger food shopping later, he's kind of taken over in that department since he cooks and I don't that much. But I got some essentials. Eggs, a rotisserie chicken, some of that soup. Good cheese, crusty bread, tomatoes, etc. I get home and Chris isn't here.

I get the pets settled and fed and sit down the coffee I picked up at intelligentsia. I got chris one too, but it'll go cold I guess if he doesn't get here soon. I suddenly realize that in the last week we've hardly been apart for more than a few minutes... and to be truly alone right now feels-- unsettling. I notice my hand is trembling slightly as I hold the cup. I resis the urge to text him to see where he is. I can't rush him home. He needs to talk to his dad. "Noah!" I call and my dog comes over and settled on my lap. "That's a good boy..."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

As soon as Chris opens his mouth Noah rushes over to him and seconds later I hear Harold's collar jingle. I watch Chris cuddle them and I get up, going over. Chris stands and I wrap and arm around him, kiss him. "They missed you," I say. I hope I don't seem as unsteady as I feel. "What's in the bags?"

"A cubic butt ton of Thanksgiving leftovers. My mother packed up enough food to feed us for a week..." I say. I kiss his lips and I can feel...something. "You okay?"

"Your mom's so kind. I-- I missed you. I realized that we've been spending almost no time apart and then I was alone here... I used to like being alone here. Coming home from somewhere, settling in by myself. You understand. I appreciated the solitude. This time... I just kept wanting to text you to find out when you'd get here..."

I feel a little foolish. Here I've been worried that he doesn't see me as a safe haven and...he really does. "I'm home now..." I whisper and kiss him softly. "And I'm all yours for the rest of the night." He nods and smiles weakly. "I'm going to put these in the fridge...is that coffee?" I ask when I see the two cups sitting on the table. "You're my hero," I say and kiss him again. I grab the cup. "I'll warm this up and meet you on the couch. Noah's a good snuggler but I want my turn."