(no subject)

[ersatzach]

After sending Chris to see his dad I stopped over at Pat's. We chatted a bit, and I'm not doing a very good job of hiding that something is off. I told him a little but not much. Pat was Pat. Kind, understanding, offering to be there. I said I'll talk to him more soon. Not sure if I can but... I've got to try... After getting my pets I stopped for some supplies. Chris will probably do a bigger food shopping later, he's kind of taken over in that department since he cooks and I don't that much. But I got some essentials. Eggs, a rotisserie chicken, some of that soup. Good cheese, crusty bread, tomatoes, etc. I get home and Chris isn't here.

I get the pets settled and fed and sit down the coffee I picked up at intelligentsia. I got chris one too, but it'll go cold I guess if he doesn't get here soon. I suddenly realize that in the last week we've hardly been apart for more than a few minutes... and to be truly alone right now feels-- unsettling. I notice my hand is trembling slightly as I hold the cup. I resis the urge to text him to see where he is. I can't rush him home. He needs to talk to his dad. "Noah!" I call and my dog comes over and settled on my lap. "That's a good boy..."

Comments

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

We press close, breath each other's breaths. I close my eyes and inhale the scent of him, feel the warmth of him. "So much better already..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Mmmm...you're so warm..." I murmur. We settle in...wrapped around each other and I close my eyes. "I know we promised...absolute honesty...and we have to really do that...work hard to make sure we stick to it. I won't hide things from you just so you won't have to deal with them. You have to do the same."

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

I nod. "I won't. I-- anything that I've told you recently... I wasn't actively deciding not to tell you sooner, do you understand. I'd buried it all and I didn't want to-- I didn't even allow myself to think about any of it."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"I know, Z..." I assure him softly. I stroke my fingers down the length of his spine. "I knows it's all been there, under the surface but if anything...baby, if you even dream about it and want to talk...wake me up..."