(no subject)

[ersatzach]

Chris has worked himself up. Thanks to his "best friend". Over some comments on a message board infested by fanboys who live in their parent's basements. He's all grouchy and sad. It's kind of adorable except that it makes me sad to see him do this to himself. We've gotten to the set now and he's doing his SHatner for me.

"I don't know...Shat's a genius," He says and I give him a look. "What are you talking about?" He pulls into a space and turns off the car. "You...just don't...understandzach! My...acting is...justamereshadowofthegreatmanwecall...The Shat. I can...never...live up to...hisgenius. Star Trek will go down and it will be...allmyfault."

I laugh. Hard. "That was good, you'll have to do that for leonard when we go to dinner," I say, waggling my eyebrows.

"Oh, no..It's like sex...I'm not doing it for anyone but you."

I smile. "I kind of like that..." I say, kissing his cheek. "Don't let the ladies molest you too much."

Comments

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Oh..." I stop dead in my tracks. He turns around to look at me. "See...I hadn't even thought about that. Now you've given me something else to worry about..."

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

"You're pretty silly sometimes," I say. "Zoe likes to grope, just be on alert." We make our way to our trailer. There's a makeup girl there to do his full body makeup. His confidence is kind of low, its probably not the best day to be doing this scene. "You can do this, Chris. You're gorgeous. Just-- think of me telling you that..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

I nod...then ask the woman if she can airbrush some abs on me. She looks at me like I have an alien sitting on the top of my head. "No, really..." She laughs and throws my "costume" at me. "Do you see these things?"

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

"My oh my..." I say. His ass is going to look glorious in those. "care to model them for me before I go?" He snaps my ass with the undies. "testy... Get it? Testy?"

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Zachary..." I laugh. I turn around to see if the makeup woman is watching. "I'm going to go put these on and if you happen to be still in the trailer..."

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

He steps into the bathroom to change. "Your boyfriend needs to accept that he's a studmuffin." The woman says. I open my mouth to say something, like, oh no, he's not my... but damnit I can't like. "He really does. But the fact that he's a studmuffin and adorably insecure is kind of a turn on," I wink.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

You know when you walk into an akward part of a conversation? "What's a turn on?" I ask, stepping out of the bathroom with my robe on...over a pair of sparkly lavender briefs. How is this good?

[spockn-at.insanejournal.com]

"We'll talk about it later," I say. I go up to him, reach for the belt but he bats my hand away like a little girl. "Okay, I'll see them later," I wink. "Have fun with him, I need to run to see JJ, he just texted me to come see him before I get my Spock on. I kiss Chris' lips and he looks more shocked. "She figured us out, th e jig is up," I inform him. "Remember, Zoe's a groper. And she leads with her left." I pat his ass and walk out.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, god..." I grumble. This is going to be a hell of a day. The makeup lady tells me to drop the robe so she can do her job...then whistles at me when I do...and tells me that I should have let my boyfriend see my package in that. Good morning!

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

Rachel and I are waiting for Chris who is taking an impossibly long time to show up. "Probably stuffing his shorts," I joke to rachel who giggles. It's not that I don't like Chris-- I just think we're probably the same kind of catty bitch. "Seriously, where is he?" I frown.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"I'm right here..." I snap and come around the corner...wrapped up tightly in my robe. I pull the belt even tighter. "Don't get your panties in a knot."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I give Chris a look. "DOn't get your panties in a knot, Pine." I say. "What took so long?"

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"I had to...well, the made up my whole body and..." Rachel, who is green from head to toe, plants her hands on her hips. Okay...no sympathy there. "Can we just get on with this...before I run screaming back to my trailer..."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Hi Chris!" I say. "So, come on, I'm here in my undies, let's see what you got?"

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Rachel is the sweet one, by the way, and she is, indeed, in her undies. If I was straight...and into green girls...and yes, I'm stalling. She motions with her hand that I need to get on with the taking it off. I heave a heavy sigh...and drop the robe...

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

OK my eyes like totally bug out. I look at Chris. At whoah! And At Zoe. And back to Chris. "Is that a phaser in your shorts or are..." Meep! I can't even finish. I might be blushing under all this green.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I blink. For fuck's sake he cannot be serious. "Phaser? looks like he stuffed some lemons in there..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Lemons!" I'm horrified that she would even suggest that I...aw, hell no. "I do NOT stuff my shorts, woman."

"Don't call me woman, Pine," I say. I'll get to the... bottom of this later. For now, gotta be a p

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Don't call me woman, Pine," I say. I'll get to the... bottom of this later. For now, gotta be a professional. "Well, I guess we have a movie to make..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Zoe and I actually stand here, glare at each other...and stick our tonges out at each other. Yes, we're mature adults. Rachel giggles. Did I mention that she's the sweet one? Even if she is staring at my... "Rachel..." I cover myself with my hands.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Sorry! It's just so... entrancing..." I giggle again. "Just be careful where you put that thing when you're writhing on top of me. I've got a fiancee..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, god..." I see Zoe edging closer to me...and remember what Zach said. "Keep your distance, woman."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

Zoe harrumphs and JJ tells us to take our places. SO I get on the bed and Chris comes over. "Hey big boy," I grin, thinking he needs to look less like a frightened lamb.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

I crawl on top of her and look down at her smiling face. "Be gentle with me, yeah, I'm fragile..."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I grin. "NOthing fragile about you, Jimmy..." Just trying to get him in the mood.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Jimmy..." I laugh and she tells me that's better. We talk a little more and...she really is sweet...and very funny. JJ expplains what he wants from us...then tells us to proceed with the making out. We both smile at each other and when JJ yells action...we start to kiss. After a few takes I realize that...parts of me are...well...green.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

We have to keep stopping so they can reapply my makeup and get the green off of Chris. "It's not easy being green..."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"Nope. And I'm sure it's not easy being cranky all the time..."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Watch it, Pine," I say. They take their places again. Far too much giggling between them. Harumph.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Zoe is off behind JJ tapping her foot and Rachel...well, she's on her way to becoming my only non-lesbian fruit fly. She lfits her knee and...gets a little close to the... "Hey...watch the Pine nuts."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I snort. "Aw come on baby, don't be that way," I tease. We get back to our making out and then I tell him to get under the bed.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

So...here I am standing here in my sparkly lavendar briefs...with the silky soft wasitband...and even when rachel is getting the lines out she is still staring at my...pine. I get down on the floor so that Little Miss Cranky Miniskirt can come in and get naked with us.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I come into the room and finally get to my favorite line. "Who is he? The Mouth Breather hiding under the bed."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"You can hear me breathing?" God...she's looking, too. This is humiliating.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"You. You're gonna fail," I say and start ushering him to the door and he is doing his flirty thing and I push the button to make the door close and wham hit his face. ooopsies...

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Oh...she so did that on purpose...and I can her giggling. The door opens and she has her hand up over her mouth. "You're very funny, woman."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I make a growly face at him. I suspect he and my Zachy might be bumping uglies. Ugh. Why, Zach??? He can do much better than Mr Stuffed Shorts. I will tell Zach that later.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

She's looking at me like she's judging me. we run through the scene a few more times and each time Zoe looks more and more...hostile. JJ calls cut...and I blow Zoe a kiss.

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

Oh that arrogant fake bulge wearing doofus! "Come on Rachel," I say. I lead her off since we're done. "We need to go find Zach later. After you get out of all that green." She wants to know why. "Because I-- I think maybe they're or at least Zach wants to and ugh! I have to save Zach from himself. He stuffs his shorts for goodness sake! That's an entire relationship built on lies."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

Zoe's really kinda pissy. "Zoe, don't you think you're overreacting. First, I don't think they're... you know. Second, Zach's a grown man. Thrid, I kinda sorta bumped against it a few times and... I think it's real."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, please. What does your knee know. Let's go shower and then go see Zach."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

I shrug and follow her to our trailer.

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

I watch the ladies stalk off and get back into my robe. JJ stops to talk to me and let me watch the dailies. Okay, its a little weird hanging out here half naked but...okay. When we're finished I go back to my trailer...and find intruders. "Hello, ladies."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Damn, where's Zach?" I say. "I guess I can talk to you. LOok, I don't know for sure if something is going on with the two of you but Zach is a sweet, sensitive guy underneat that hipster facade and he doesn't need a slick Hollywood pretty boy with a sock in his shorts breaking his heart."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

"A sock!" Okay...now she's starting to piss me off. I open my robe. Rachel giggles. "I'll have you know that this is no sock, woman. This is prime, grade A Pine."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

Oh. Oh. "You! You are so vulgar!" I step forward. "Stop living a lie, Christopher and get that sock out of there." And-- and this may be where my life went horribly wrong, I reach inside to grab this sock and. And. Oh MY GOD. I have my hand around Chris' Pine's massive dick... mommy...

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Oh.My.God! Please tell me that I hit my head odd the bedframe while we were filming and I am lying on the floor on set all passed put and drooling and NOT standing here with Zoe's boney hand around my cock. We stand there...frozen in time...staring at each other in horror and disbelief for...I don't know how long. "Um...Zoe..."

[trekroomies.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, God. Chris, I am so so so sorry. Truly, I sincerely apologize. It's clearly real and... wow... big."

[cfine.insanejournal.com]

Well, yes but she is still standing there with her hand around my..."Um...Zoe..."